you are the best thing, that's ever been mine.

Another breakdown forming inside me, trying to crawl its way to the surface and strike tears from my eyes. Attempting to draw blood from my nose and stain my cheeks with the rosy color of fear and anticipation. Tremble my hands and make my heart pound so hard that it will feel as if a small poke to the chest will make it explode, spilling all the indescribable emotion from it, hoping that it’ll feel the calmness of apathy. A gust of wind will make me fall down, flat on my face, hurting my hips and knees, getting sand in my eyes and dirt on my clothes. So just please hold me until I can’t be held anymore. Look at me until you memorize the structures of my face, the grooves of my cheeks, the scars of my forehead, the hairline on the back of my neck. The smell of your skin and the feeling of your warm breath will calm me down. Kiss me until you can feel the pits and cusps of my molars and promise me that it will stay this way forever. And then I will promise you that I’ll be all right. I will be okay.